im too afraid to express myself externally when i want to. examplar, appearance. i want to change and style my appearance to how id like to, experiment. but im too afraid of being perceived by others like if im going to school, or am around my parents. people notice. people perceive. i dont like that, and i dont like how i dont like that because its stopping me from what i want.
i doubt this will change. if there anything i want to change. i wont take actions to do so.
now, then, i dont want to live my whole life or a large portion of it, just being too afraid, so, if i die as soon as possible, that'd be best to relieve myself of any further future suffering.
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