unwanted being

 the fact im being

that i exist

guarantees a physical body

a human body

human bodies are physically filthy

i am in one, i am one, much to my disgust

i dont want to be in one.

i want to get out of it

its filthy, disgusting, vile.

eat, defecate, urinate, sweat, bleed, vomit, ejaculate.

i find my insides disgusting. and ofcourse the only way to divert this truth, deny it and avoid it

i find my features disgusting. i find my skin disgusting. i find my flesh, meat, bone and organs all putrid disgusting.

this eventually to rot, smell, decay and wither and cease from being, this body.

pointless, trivial, never i wanted.

i dont want need to defecate. i dont want need to urinate, i dont want to have a body

i dont want to need to eat. i dont want to need to maintain. i dont want to have a body,

more importantly, living, i want it most deeply not

i want to leave as soon as possible

but leaving this body just takes so much.

my nose i hate, my eyes i hate, my eyebrows i hate, my lips i hate, my hair i hate, my face i hate, i head i hate, my hands i hate, my arms i hate, my shoulders i hate, my neck i hate, my chest i hate, my abdomen i hate, my feet i hate, my legs i hate, my hips i hate, my bottom i hate, my waist i hate, my back i hate, my bodyhair i hate, all my features i hate, my body i hate, my existence i hate.