0205 gawagwaasxgageg

 i just woke up from a 14 hour sleep after an all nighter

just wanted to mind dump here

sleep sure was nice but waking up felt terrible 

i want to return to sleep so bad

those dreams were pleasant even though ive completely forgot them

its really hit me that my proximity in my routines of being outside, going to school and everything dont really allow way to meet people i feel that are likeminded to me to befriend. or maybe its just that they're are and that im too afraid to connect to people im currently interested in talking to and search more. i jsut dont know, im in a place with more than 2000 people around my age that i could talk to, but ofcourse stuck with the same 100 or so people/classmates that i have across all my classes which i can talk to in better proximity. there are even people i think i do want to talk to more but im too scared too.

there are hundreds of thousands, millions i think, that are my age and just really likeminded and interesting cool people id love to be friends with. im not special, im not some special one, im not.

i feel really stuck, i dont know.

i suppose it will just be worse with finding romance too