-=][-=][-=]-[--=][-]

im sinking further and further behind people my age. it sucks, it hurts. i try to tell myself its pointless and that drowning myself in comparison is poison, and i think i am correct, but i cant help but do so. i often find myself envying other people's lives. the close and great friendships they have. the bodies they have. the discipline they have. the hobbies, the skills, the passions, the interests, the talents, the achievements, the personality, the identity, the possessions, the past, the experiences, the truly eventful, interesting and growing lives they have. i envy it so so terribly. 

i hold so much dissatisfaction to who i was and who i am now.   

so much jealously yet i do nothing. so much time that passes by thinking about it yet i do nothing. how pathetic.