as well as its a reality i dont quite want. ill put it straight, i didnt want to be born. and i dont want to continue being alive. im afraid of aging. i never consented to be alive. i was forced here.
then i have to continue with all this pain from living that i never wanted. its absurd. and suicide is already so hard and agonising. most not if all the methods will involve pain and likely unbearable suffering. well, physically. also all attempts are not guaranteed and may make you brain dead or something or disabled and inable to attempt gain and just in terrible pain for the rest of your life.
its that lovely. first forced into existence. then expected to live for decades. then its really painful, risky and difficult to end your life.
oo i have a wish great entity that watches over, cease my existence.
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