always feel upset at myself and disgusted when i get even a bit frustrated at someone or show any anger or irritation at all

especially when im in a unpleasant mood, i might get irritable and if i do let my irritation out on someone i feel incredibly guilty, shameful, disgusted and upset at myself. then that could make me more irritable and thus the loop 

its miserable.

i dislike feeling angry, i dislike feeling irritated, i dislike lashing my irritation on anyone. i really really dont. i dont like feeling these things.