giving up on trying to seek deep connections

no matter how hard you try, it wont happen, so i might leave chance to if i find anyone i can really connect with. you do or you dont, just how it is. really deep and meaningful friendships that last for a lifetime where both parties are very likeminded very much do exist, but putting it straight it just isnt common. i feel, i just feel for now, that its up to luck if you do meet anyone of your people.

though you could simply invest more yourself into more connections and social spaces and hobbies/interests to increase the probability of meeting one.

ofcourse, there are endless things that affect that.

most of us are all limited to a certain few hundred or so of people we are able to connect with whilst they are in proximity in your life due to the structure and routine of our lives, were limited to 24 hours a day, were limited to limited fuel and effort, were limited to a limited scope of attention. we dont have that time to try find your people, we have responsibilities like maintaining yourself or working or getting an education. we dont have all the energy, and much that energy goes into the latter. we dont have a lens wide enough to give the right things attention, and we might focus on the wrong things. you cant have the focus and time to build and progress in that connection with that person alongside five others at the same time.

 then some of us might have mental illnesses or disorders and obstructions alike that we have no control of that make surviving in this world just the more difficult and make us just the more painfully lonely.

i do want to mention that these limitations seep into other areas of our lives too

limited choices

all of this, and still, its so so challenging to make a singular long standing deep connection.

maybe friendships, maybe love. maybe you can ditch it. its a few of the dozens of all areas of life. 

some people just dont have what others have, some just get nothing in return no matter how much time, effort and attention they give to that slice of the cake. maybe those other slice of the cake give much more to them than the slices of friendships, a community and love.

i know its not well explained but its a difficult topic to really explain from my end